lillian13: (Default)
 



After seeing this trailer, I can't get the idea that Treadstone was an attempt to re-create the Super Soldier serum out of my head. I mean, c'mon, they even use the "Your work saved lives" line...

So where are my fics? I mean, the idea of Jason Bourne and Bucky Barnes is kind of mind-meltingly hot. And my birthday IS coming up.... LOL.

lillian13: (Default)
While I am making great strides (LOL) in my knee recovery, I've reached the stage where my brain is tired of TV and reading and keeps telling me that I Need To Be Productive, Damnit. So I went on an errand--just a quick run to the pharmacy, the Asian grocery in the same strip center (frozen dumplings!), and the Post Office.

Spent the rest of the day on the couch, under the ceiling fan, with my cold pack on my leg. Ugh.

What killed me was standing in line at the Post Office though I wasn't in line for very long. Standing still for any length of time is...annoying. Plus it's hovering around 90F during the day with high humidity and a lot of haze coming up from Mexico where they're burning fields.

On Sunday I somehow managed to completely lose my main key chain--it had my house keys (unlabeled) and my Mazda car key/fob. Guess who couldn't find her spare car key, even after tearing apart the house and having a friend come over and look? So I used AAA to get the car towed--luckily I had left it unlocked after my last trip--and took it to the dealer. Thank goodness for an upgraded membership; at least the tow was free.

A couple of hours later, I had two shiny key fob/keys. They only cost the equivalent of TWO car payments and at least one water bill. 

And on Monday I had to have the appliance repair dude come out and work on the fridge.

However, I continue to astonish my home PT person. I have figured out how to not only clean the cat box, but how to move the big trash cans to and from the curb. (Her comment, "Now you're just showing off.") She's releasing me to outpatient PT next week.

How are YOU doin'?

lillian13: (Default)
 Ugh, I suck at LJ nowadays. I'm mainly on FB and tumblr but I miss the conversations, you know?

Anyway....

I go back into the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday) to get Yet Another Knee Surgery. It seems that the base (tibial) part of my left replacement has decided to shift in the bone, causing my knee to bow out and put a lot of weird stresses on my lower leg, foot, hip, lower back, etc. I'll be in the hospital for 1-3 days, depending on how well I respond to the surgery. My money's on 2 days. :-) Then I have 6 weeks of recovery. Good thing I went back to cable!

So, one would assume that I have wisely spent the last 4 days productively, cleaning house, etc. Wrong! I was vending at WhoFest in Dallas.

I got to meet Eve Myles--she came by my booth on Friday. She was planning on coming back but had an unexpected set call so I didn't get to sell her anything. (FYI, she's lovely and has very good taste in perfume.) BUT I also met Wendy Padbury, the second Doctor's Companion, who not only won a set of my buttons at the charity auction, she came by the table on Sunday and bought a pair of Dalek earrings!

I also discovered that there are actual See's Candies stores in Dallas. I kept myself to one box of dark chocolates. I'm so good. :-)

Today I slept late, and my body has been telling me all day just how much it a) hates the fact that I've been off my arthritis meds for the week before surgery, and b) how much I overdid it this weekend. I picked up cat food and some things I need for the recuperation, and now I'm doing laundry and contemplating vacuuming the house.

But by this time tomorrow my leg should be pain-free. So there's that.

Third Time

Apr. 25th, 2016 05:07 pm
lillian13: (Default)
 Ugh, I suck at LJ nowadays. I'm mainly on FB and tumblr but I miss the conversations, you know?


lillian13: (Default)
 All right, the House Elves are officially On Notice. Since I moved in 2 years ago, the following items have vanished: my nuclear tie-dye hoodie, a long-sleeved t shirt, a (brand new!) short-sleeved t-shirt, one striped sock, and now a pillowcase.

That I know of.

This is getting annoying.

I have my own washer and dryer, no roommates. 

THE T SHIRT AND THE HOODIE WERE NEVER IN THE WASHER.
lillian13: (Default)
 Um hey...been a while.

I'm mainly on tumblr..https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bylillian

So, I'm 51 today. Not feeling it--I've been kind of down lately, thinking about my sister who died just about 2 years ago. Now all I have as a direct relation is by brother, and we don't communicate. 

ANYWAY. I've had some very good shows. SoonerCon was good and shows signs of being one of those cons that will get better the more often I am there. I have ArmadilloCon in a couple of weeks, and I do pretty well there too. I keep being asked to do one day pop up shows outdoors and I'm all NOPE. No more outdoor shows until the fall.

Spencer Cat got into something last night. I've been letting him out in the evenings; he usually runs around for a bit and then just lounges on top of my car. Last night he was coughing a little and today I can see scratches on his head and ears. He's kind of grumpily curled up in the smaller cat bed, but he did eat last night and he did come out to supervise the AC guy this morning. So I'll keep an eye on him.

Work is...work. I'm starting to sniff around in the job market, since I don't have a hope in hell of advancing much here and I'm really bored with the actual job. I've been here 15 years though, hard to break that habit.

Going to see Minions tonight with J & L. Will celebrate with the family after the World's Best Niece and Her Fabulous Finace (they're getting married next year!) come back from Comic Con. I am soooo jealous. I need to go back next year.
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Finally realized why I woke up at 3:30 this morning and had a helluva time getting back to sleep; also why I've been very anxious all morning: I have my 6-month "check up" mammogram in about 30 minutes.
lillian13: (Default)
Argh1: What I thought was a strained muscle in my left shin is, in fact, stress fractures. WTH? All I can figure is they started last year when I was working with my trainer (I had similar symptoms though they were gone pretty quickly), and I somehow did something at the show last Sunday to exacerbate the problem. I'm seeing my PT on Monday, at least I will have a course of action.

NON-ARGH 1: The World's Best Niece is now engaged! I really like J, he's smart and funny and a huge nerd and he respects her.

Arrgh 2: Have been informed by my home financer that my payment will be going up almost $100/month. I'm calling them on Monday to find out what the problem is. I JUST got my tax notice in the mail yesterday and I plan on contesting the 25% increase in listed value, so they have no call to increase my escrow...$100/month is a LOT of money to me right now, and I'd really rather not have to count every single penny in order to save a multinational corporation...$650.

NON-ARGH 2: Said Fiance, (now known as the World's Best Fiance), climbed up in my attic yesterday to check on some things for me because I Simply Do Not Bend That Way Anymore, Thank You. Good news, all my worries are merely cosmetic and resulted from the previous owner's DIY work cutting some corners.

Arrrgh 3: Car is hesitating upon acceleration again, AFTER I spent $300 to get the coil/plugs/plug wires replaced. Hopefully this is an easy fix.

NON-ARGH 3: I'm going to be on Amazon Marketplace! One of their handmade market recruiters saw my work at the Flea last month and I'm in the process of getting branded and my work certified handmade. I'm starting with my bowls and such since it takes so long to get jewelry certified, due to the sheer amount of fake "handmade" work out there. I will, of course, keep you posted.

Arrrrgh 4: Because of the stress fractures, I can'd do the Vortex show this coming weekend, and I'm hesitating about working in the workshop, because it involves a lot of getting up/down from my chair, which I think is what set them off.

NON-ARGH 4: My tax refund (thank you, home office deduction!) AND my "extra" paycheck showed up last week, so I was able to get the trees trimmed back and the yard mowed, buy jewelry supplies,  and pay entry fees into a couple of shows, including SoonerCon.
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I had the great pleasure of meeting Terry Pratchett several times, not just at autograph sessions but also at an epic Texas barbecue dinner here in Austin at the Ironworks*, where we watched this small man inhale vast quantities of meat. The next year, at WorldCon in San Antonio, he spotted me and complained that the BBQ pork ribs at the County Line on the Riverwalk simply weren't up to snuff.

He once called me a “procurer” for pursuing him for permission to do GURPS Discworld. Then he grinned at me and thanked me. (I was the art director on that one.)

He used to hang out on alt.fan.discworld and alt.fan.pratchett and make comments. (Ah, usenet!)

I am very glad he got the opportunity to die on his own terms, at home with family and his cat.
 

I’m going to miss him and his very singular voice and commentary so very, very much.

* On a book tour in 1998 or so. He came to Austin and had an interview on KUT radio (our local NPR station) with John Aielli. It was scheduled for one hour and ran to three. (I just tried to find it, but it hasn't been archived anywhere.) Then he had a book signing at the late, lamented Adventures in Crime and Space bookstore, and we all piled into cars to go to Ironworks. It's an old-school place on Waller Creek in downtown Austin. That man could seriously pack away the food.

lillian13: (Default)
 Agent Carter is over. I really hope we get more, because I love Hayley Atwell and her kick-em-in-the-balls fighting style.

Person of Interest continues to be some of the best, creepiest near-future SF on television. The episode "If-Then-Else" NEEDS to be nominated for a Hugo next year.

I'm so sad this is Justified's last season. I'm clinging to every episode. I frequently yell at the screen. "Don't you threaten Ava! Boyd's going to go nuclear on your ass!" has crossed my lips more than once.

I've completely given up on Dr Who. I like me some Peter Capaldi, but damn, Moffett's writing makes me want to hiss and throw things. ("We'll always have Nine", I whisper mournfully to the cat.)

Constantine was very, very good, and I do hope it's picked up by a cable channel.

The Flash continues to make me smile. It tries so hard to do angst, but it's just not built for it. It has even made Arrow bearable.

Supernatural keeps hitting it out of the park. I'm going to miss it when they finally end it; hopefully they'll do it before it starts sucking.

Jupiter Ascending is tons of fun and very silly and very pretty. Go see it.

Why hasn't anyone made a multifandom vid to "Shoop" by Salt'n'Pepa?

Hey, yeah - I wanna shoop, baby

(Oooo, how you doin', baby?
No, not you
You, the bow-legged one, (ha-ha) yeah
What's your name?
Damn, that sounds sexy)


C'mon, an opening shot of Dean in the gym shorts?...





lillian13: (Default)
 Well, I left Austin on Friday with an annoying cough. I came back from Denver with real hacking cough, rattling lungs, clogged ears, and occasional shortness of breath. Saw the doc and I now have a steroid pack and an albuterol inhaler. We're trying to head this off a the pass before it becomes bronchitis. BUT--I got to see my lovely friends SJ and S and we had amazing Korean food on Saturday night. (I always like this convention. Sales are very good, I'm friends with many of the vendors, and the Girl Scouts set up in the lobby selling cookies. :-) )

It snowed on me in Denver on Sunday. Lovely, fluffy, wet snow and I was very glad to leave it. I am a Southern girl.

I see the oncologist tomorrow and on my FPs recommendation I'm asking him about my hormones; don't know if the script needs to be changed.

I NEED to start my taxes this week.

In good news, I got into both WhoFest and Soonercon! And I got an email from a woman who saw my work at the Flea. She "works with a team at Amazon to bring local artists to Amazon" and she loves my work.  eeep! This could be an amazing opportunity.
lillian13: (Default)
 I did hear from the oncologist last Friday, as I was frantically trying to get one of my "Project Goals" done at work--i.e., Projects You Take On To Look Good When They Decide Raises.

He says he's extremely sure I don't have a tumor--the T-cells were reacting as if they were fighting a local infection/inflammation. He was hoping to hear from the pathologist this week; but I have an appointment with him the week after next and he'll give me the details.

I'm...relieved? No longer anxious? The most noticeable effect is on my creativity--January was a black hole of suck but I'm back in the workshop again. I actually cooked for the first time in weeks (as opposed to heating up frozen things). I borrowed a ladder to finally get up in the attic and poke around.

Though my brain continues to be weird. I JUST NOW NOTICED that my first show of the year is on this Sunday, not Saturday. Which is good! I can get some more earrings made with my new blanks and maybe make a quick run to the farmer's market.

I'm heading to Denver over the weekend of the 13th for Genghis Con, flogging shirts for Mr. Pegasus. I'm supposed to hear from a couple of conventions this weekend--WhoFest says I'm in (but I have yet to see an invoice), and Soonercon. I hope I do get into Soonercon--I'm told it's a nice large fan convention and I tend to do well at those. Plus I have friends to stay with. ArmadilloCon still doesn't have a Guest of Honor, and they aren't getting my money for a table until they do.

That's all for now. :-)
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Saw the oncologist today. He was very reassuring. Not a talk-down-to-you type of specialist, thank goodness. He figured out pretty quick that he could speak to me like an intelligent adult.

They drew blood, because he wants to test the T cells that were spotted in the lymph gland tissue.

If they are all one type of T cell, that possibly means cancer, and they'll want to do more tests and such.

If there are several types, that means there was a general inflammation of the lymph gland for whatever reason, and we just keep an eye on it from now on. 

So, after a very nice chat with the phlebotomist (five vials of blood!), I went back to work. I'm glad I'd gotten a ton done this morning before I left, because I got jack-all done the rest of the day. It was a weird combination of relief and exhaustion. I came home and cried and made myself eat dinner and then just vegged out in front of the TV. I've been doing that an awful lot lately, but I have had zero mental motivation to do anything, really. Even go into the workshop, which is annoying. I can feel myself trying to slide into depression again and I really would rather that not happen, OK?

If I don't hear from the doctor by next Monday with the blood test results, I'm supposed to call him. Here's hoping I'll hear from him before then.

lillian13: (Default)
I've come to the realization that the amount of stress in my life may be just a tad high. 

Tuesday, I think I had a genuine panic attack.

I checked my bank balance after the long weekend (well, long for those who get federal bank holidays off), tried to subtract my mortgage payment, and the resulting large negative number almost made me faint. I went into overdrive: I immediately moved my tiny savings into my checking account, remembered my hoarded $100 bill from Christmas in my wallet, and begged a $200 loan from a coworker. I drove over to the credit union, slammed the money into the account. and was driving back, calculating how much food I had in the house....

....when my actual fore brain kicked in and gently reminded me that I had, in fact, paid the mortgage 2 weeks ago, right on schedule. I had made arrangements to pay my sales taxes out of this paycheck, along with covering some show fees, some supplies, and maybe some computer "reading" glasses. (Yes, I need "readers". I hate getting old.) Everything was fine, and what the hell was all the yelling about?

So, I went back to work, apologized to and thanked my friend; promised her I'd have her cash back in the morning, Then I spent the rest of the afternoon shaking and weird.

That evening my gynecologist called. She'd been having a hard time getting a specialist to look at my results. The cells were "atypical", and she wasn't totally convinced that it was just a lymph node flare-up. So, I'm seeing her specialist, an oncologist, on Monday, and he's going to go over my options. He seems to think that the lab wasn't rigorous enough in their cell testing. I have no idea what to expect.

I had lunch with [personal profile] dremiel  on Wednesday, which helped quite a bit.

Today was rainy and cold and gross and I haven't been getting enough sleep (surprise!) and so I've been feeling really down. But bingeing on 5 episodes of "Galavant" have helped. Plus ice cream.

Just gotta get through until Monday afternoon. Wish me luck?

Boob Update

Jan. 7th, 2015 05:26 pm
lillian13: (Default)
 Home again, with an ice pack and the Good Cupcakes from the Good Bakery. Plus a chocolate croissant.

The procedure went well; everyone was very nice and willing to explain things to me. It was kind of cool to see the needle go into the lymph note in the ultrasound. They took 3 samples and then put in a little titanium tissue tag to mark it in case they need to come back in. 

Then I got a bonus mammogram, but it was not nearly as harsh as my usual ones. They needed to check the location of the tissue tag. 

One of the techs mentioned that I was one of the nicest patients they'd had! I explained to her that I COULD be a raving bitch, but I preferred to save it for when I actually needed it. :-)

I went over to [personal profile] dremiel 's house and met the new cat, and then we went to lunch at the Frisco. I ran errands for a couple of hours since it will be wet and cold this weekend instead of just cold and windy, and bought the Good Cupcakes. I may or may not cook tonight. Pizza may be in my future.

Now I wait, and ice my boob. And catch up on my shows. (Person of Interest, why did you feel the need to gut me?)
lillian13: (Default)
 Aaaarrrgh.

Just got a call from the Womens' Imaging Center where I had my appointment to get my needle biopsy. 

Seems an alert tech was going over her schedule for Monday and noticed that they shouldn't have scheduled my procedure at that location, because THEY DON'T HAVE THE EQUIPMENT THERE. (Because I'm not getting just a needle biopsy of my boob, it's my lymph node.)

So, they called to reschedule. For Wednesday. Much farther away. The scheduling person very kindly offered to make it Friday so I'd have a long weekend ("If you work". What. The. Actual. Fuck.) I rather tartly replied that I'd rather get this over with, thankyouverymuch.

So now I have an additional 48 hours to stew. I'm glad I'm not much of a drinker because I have a whole 6-pack of good cider in the fridge along with some excellent local mead.

And it's too cold to go out in the workshop.
lillian13: (Default)
 Quick update...

After various holiday office closings, I finally got my doctor to give the go-ahead to the clinic for the needle biopsy. Going in Monday morning at 8:30, so I guess I'll get an early start on fulfilling my deductibles! I was told not to lift anything over 5 lbs for a couple of days after that and I'd want to take the day off from work. So I've emailed my lead (since he's off until Monday). So I have even more time to stress, yay!

In better news, I had a lovely nice long conversation with my brother-in-law and have introduced him to the cult of texting me weird pictures on his phone. And I'm having dinner with my nephew and his girlfriend tomorrow sometime, and I had a great lunch with a couple of old gaming buddies who I never get to see anymore.

I've already blown a chunk of my Christmas money on a new bookshelf and 2 sets of storage drawers from IKEA. I think I'll spend New Year's Eve putting things together, because it will be Amateur Drinker's Night out there and it will be raining and slick and cold.

Thank you all for your forbearance and kind words. I'll try to be a better correspondent next year.
lillian13: (Default)
 It's been a week and it's only going to go on. Venting ahead, feel free to skip.

Last week, on the prep day for my colonoscopy, the mammogram folks called me and wanted me to come in for an ultrasound of my left breast. So I had that anxiety free-floating all through the horrible all-liquid prep, subsequent dehydration and FOUR TRIES to start an IV on me (I have some excellent bruises). 

I did have a good show on Saturday, where I was not only inside but next to the bar, and a lovely woman named Mary Grace and her two teenage sons insisted on helping me load out. And by "helping", I mean they did 90% of the moving and loading. It was very appreciated!

I wanted to to that show on Sunday as well, but since I have FOUR CHRISTMAS FAMILY THINGS this week, I needed Sunday to Do All The Things. I did A Lot Of The Things.

Got up too early this morning (though nowhere near as early as Colonoscopy Friday, 4 am is just gross), and after my boob was ultrasounded, the radiologist explained that my lymph node was denser and rounder than last year, and they really want to do a needle biopsy. So now I'm waiting to hear from my gynecologist, which may not happen until after Christmas. I'm calling tomorrow just to speed things along. Because I Do Not Need This Shit Right Now, Thanks.

I KNOW, logically, that it is overwhelmingly likely that it's nothing serious. But I lost both my sister and mother to cancer, and I'm really, really scared.

It didn't help matters any that I came in to find a work crew busy building out the cubes on the other side of my wall, so my day was spent with very loud banging, drilling, talking, dropped metallic objects, and did I mention the constant hammering and banging that transmitted into my desk and keyboard? I was able to escape for a bit with my boss's blessing, but driving around 3 days before Christmas on errands is not exactly soothing.

So now I'm very tense and slightly hyper, I have work the next two days and the in-laws Christmas tomorrow (about 45 minutes north of here), then Christmas Eve with L and J and J's mom, and I have to clean that day since we're doing the Divorce Christmas again, with my brother in the morning and at my place with my sister-in-law that afternoon so my house has to be at least habitable and I've been staging shows out of it for a month and I've just about had it and it isn't even goddamn Christmas yet.

EVERYTHING is setting me off. Normally I just roll with things and weeks like this but it's just been one damned thing after another and I'm just so stressed and worried. I've been crying over everything and my stomach is all in knots.

But I did get the thank-you cookies to the cafeteria crew and the mailroom crew at work, and dropped some off at my pharmacy (because they're awesome) and bought cupcakes for my mechanics and a box of candy for the lovely folks selling my work for me at Blue Genie. And I'm leaving brownies in the mailbox for my mail carrier. And my Christmas lights look awesome and I've been selling well at Blue Genie and that rattle in my engine compartment I thought was serious was just my loose hood lever. (Thus, my mechanic gets cupcakes.)

lillian13: (Default)
 I should really post about what's going on with me but I wanted to talk fannish things.

What if...

...instead of SHIELD, Steve is found in the ice by the Stargate program? Maybe they tried to create supersoldiers to fight the Go'a'ould, and that's how we got the Hulk? And he gets revived and sent to Atlantis? With a gate team of Tony, Natasha, and Clint, and they find Thor on an abandoned planet...

...Danny Williams and Harold Finch meet up and commiserate about annoying partners with gun fetishes who look like GQ models and just don't appreciate a good suit, damnit.

...for that matter, Danny Williams would sure make an excellent SHIELD agent.

...Or a new sheriff/agent in Beacon Hills.



...and I still think Operation Treadstone was a HYDRA  project.


lillian13: (Default)
 OK, since it's been...THREE MONTHS? since I posted last, here is What Has Been Happening, the Short Form:
  • I had a wonderful time in San Francisco--we ran around, went to a Giants game, ate All The Food, and went to the Winchester Mystery House. Very fun and relaxing and I even bought shoes.
  • Summer shows went well--I sell very well at SF conventions, and now I'm seriously considering doing Soonercon in June, since I have a couch to crash on.
  • I would love to go to Sasquan in Spokane next year, but even a year out the air fare is something like $300, plus I have to buy a $140 membership on top of a $250 table. Since The World's Best Niece and her new boyfriend want to go back to San Diego Comic Con, I may just do that instead, since I have several standing offers for passes from friends who are dealers.
  • I may be getting the other bunion fixed before the end of the year since I met my deductible, and now that the other one is fixed I can tell that this one is bothering me.
  • After I deal with the madness that is Austin Celtic Festival this weekend, I have to start prepping for the Blue Genie Art Bazaar! This is a juried month-long indie artist craft mall--the organizers handle all the transactions, etc., and the artists are responsible for their displays and restocking. Getting in was a Big Deal for me, and now I'm panicking just a wee bit, trying to figure out my display, etc. 
  • The wonderful woman who let me use her garage as a workshop for over 2 years passed away. Joan was incredibly generous to someone she didn't know (I know her daughter). She went out on her own terms, though. Came home from the hospital, walked around her house, had a couple of margaritas, and went to bed. She died in her sleep. I miss her terribly.
  • I'm on tumblr, where I mainly post pictures of my work: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bylillian

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