Heh. So THATS why I've been off this week
Aug. 8th, 2008 08:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillian13Backstory: It's weird. Everyone has blind spots. Mine has to do with time. Specifically, remembering past dates. I mean, I seriously suck at it. Want to know when I worked/lived somewhere? You'd better hope I have access to my resume or something similar, otherwise be prepared to listen to me try to attach happenings, etc. to a timeline. (I know I graduated in December of 1989, so I started this job in 1990....) Yes, I remember birthdays...because they are marked on several calendars, my PDA, and at least two websites. Otherwise, I would never remember them. As it is, there are years like this one, when all my cards are late.
Which brings up this week. My Mama died this week. In um....1991. I could look up the exact date, but frankly, I don't want to remember it. I know it's after the 2nd (my brother's anniversary), and before the 7th. So, I tend to get depressed and tetchy during this week.
It's been 17 years. My about-to-turn-18 nephew never knew her, and my about-to-turn-21 niece only remembers her through old photos. It's been 17 years, and I still see something--a book, a movie, some awful piece of un-proofread publishing--and I want to pick up the phone and tell her about it. It's been 17 years, and I still dream about her, sometimes.
I refuse to idolize or canonize her. Her smoking, frankly, killed her far too early, and left me with some lung problems. She was prickly and private, and the older I got the more we butted heads. She never really knew me or saw me as an adult. I don't know what kind of relationship we'd have now. She was a child of her times (born in the 20's), and I spent years untangling all the prejudices she saddled me with. She started me reading SF when I was 7, so I she's responsible, pretty directly, for me being on LJ.
She was a tough broad. I miss her.
Which brings up this week. My Mama died this week. In um....1991. I could look up the exact date, but frankly, I don't want to remember it. I know it's after the 2nd (my brother's anniversary), and before the 7th. So, I tend to get depressed and tetchy during this week.
It's been 17 years. My about-to-turn-18 nephew never knew her, and my about-to-turn-21 niece only remembers her through old photos. It's been 17 years, and I still see something--a book, a movie, some awful piece of un-proofread publishing--and I want to pick up the phone and tell her about it. It's been 17 years, and I still dream about her, sometimes.
I refuse to idolize or canonize her. Her smoking, frankly, killed her far too early, and left me with some lung problems. She was prickly and private, and the older I got the more we butted heads. She never really knew me or saw me as an adult. I don't know what kind of relationship we'd have now. She was a child of her times (born in the 20's), and I spent years untangling all the prejudices she saddled me with. She started me reading SF when I was 7, so I she's responsible, pretty directly, for me being on LJ.
She was a tough broad. I miss her.