Where am I going?

 All right, the House Elves are officially On Notice. Since I moved in 2 years ago, the following items have vanished: my nuclear tie-dye hoodie, a long-sleeved t shirt, a (brand new!) short-sleeved t-shirt, one striped sock, and now a pillowcase.

That I know of.

This is getting annoying.

I have my own washer and dryer, no roommates. 

THE T SHIRT AND THE HOODIE WERE NEVER IN THE WASHER.

Argh1: What I thought was a strained muscle in my left shin is, in fact, stress fractures. WTH? All I can figure is they started last year when I was working with my trainer (I had similar symptoms though they were gone pretty quickly), and I somehow did something at the show last Sunday to exacerbate the problem. I'm seeing my PT on Monday, at least I will have a course of action.

NON-ARGH 1: The World's Best Niece is now engaged! I really like J, he's smart and funny and a huge nerd and he respects her.

Arrgh 2: Have been informed by my home financer that my payment will be going up almost $100/month. I'm calling them on Monday to find out what the problem is. I JUST got my tax notice in the mail yesterday and I plan on contesting the 25% increase in listed value, so they have no call to increase my escrow...$100/month is a LOT of money to me right now, and I'd really rather not have to count every single penny in order to save a multinational corporation...$650.

NON-ARGH 2: Said Fiance, (now known as the World's Best Fiance), climbed up in my attic yesterday to check on some things for me because I Simply Do Not Bend That Way Anymore, Thank You. Good news, all my worries are merely cosmetic and resulted from the previous owner's DIY work cutting some corners.

Arrrgh 3: Car is hesitating upon acceleration again, AFTER I spent $300 to get the coil/plugs/plug wires replaced. Hopefully this is an easy fix.

NON-ARGH 3: I'm going to be on Amazon Marketplace! One of their handmade market recruiters saw my work at the Flea last month and I'm in the process of getting branded and my work certified handmade. I'm starting with my bowls and such since it takes so long to get jewelry certified, due to the sheer amount of fake "handmade" work out there. I will, of course, keep you posted.

Arrrrgh 4: Because of the stress fractures, I can'd do the Vortex show this coming weekend, and I'm hesitating about working in the workshop, because it involves a lot of getting up/down from my chair, which I think is what set them off.

NON-ARGH 4: My tax refund (thank you, home office deduction!) AND my "extra" paycheck showed up last week, so I was able to get the trees trimmed back and the yard mowed, buy jewelry supplies,  and pay entry fees into a couple of shows, including SoonerCon.

 I did hear from the oncologist last Friday, as I was frantically trying to get one of my "Project Goals" done at work--i.e., Projects You Take On To Look Good When They Decide Raises.

He says he's extremely sure I don't have a tumor--the T-cells were reacting as if they were fighting a local infection/inflammation. He was hoping to hear from the pathologist this week; but I have an appointment with him the week after next and he'll give me the details.

I'm...relieved? No longer anxious? The most noticeable effect is on my creativity--January was a black hole of suck but I'm back in the workshop again. I actually cooked for the first time in weeks (as opposed to heating up frozen things). I borrowed a ladder to finally get up in the attic and poke around.

Though my brain continues to be weird. I JUST NOW NOTICED that my first show of the year is on this Sunday, not Saturday. Which is good! I can get some more earrings made with my new blanks and maybe make a quick run to the farmer's market.

I'm heading to Denver over the weekend of the 13th for Genghis Con, flogging shirts for Mr. Pegasus. I'm supposed to hear from a couple of conventions this weekend--WhoFest says I'm in (but I have yet to see an invoice), and Soonercon. I hope I do get into Soonercon--I'm told it's a nice large fan convention and I tend to do well at those. Plus I have friends to stay with. ArmadilloCon still doesn't have a Guest of Honor, and they aren't getting my money for a table until they do.

That's all for now. :-)

I've come to the realization that the amount of stress in my life may be just a tad high. 

Tuesday, I think I had a genuine panic attack.

I checked my bank balance after the long weekend (well, long for those who get federal bank holidays off), tried to subtract my mortgage payment, and the resulting large negative number almost made me faint. I went into overdrive: I immediately moved my tiny savings into my checking account, remembered my hoarded $100 bill from Christmas in my wallet, and begged a $200 loan from a coworker. I drove over to the credit union, slammed the money into the account. and was driving back, calculating how much food I had in the house....

....when my actual fore brain kicked in and gently reminded me that I had, in fact, paid the mortgage 2 weeks ago, right on schedule. I had made arrangements to pay my sales taxes out of this paycheck, along with covering some show fees, some supplies, and maybe some computer "reading" glasses. (Yes, I need "readers". I hate getting old.) Everything was fine, and what the hell was all the yelling about?

So, I went back to work, apologized to and thanked my friend; promised her I'd have her cash back in the morning, Then I spent the rest of the afternoon shaking and weird.

That evening my gynecologist called. She'd been having a hard time getting a specialist to look at my results. The cells were "atypical", and she wasn't totally convinced that it was just a lymph node flare-up. So, I'm seeing her specialist, an oncologist, on Monday, and he's going to go over my options. He seems to think that the lab wasn't rigorous enough in their cell testing. I have no idea what to expect.

I had lunch with dremiel  on Wednesday, which helped quite a bit.

Today was rainy and cold and gross and I haven't been getting enough sleep (surprise!) and so I've been feeling really down. But bingeing on 5 episodes of "Galavant" have helped. Plus ice cream.

Just gotta get through until Monday afternoon. Wish me luck?

 Aaaarrrgh.

Just got a call from the Womens' Imaging Center where I had my appointment to get my needle biopsy. 

Seems an alert tech was going over her schedule for Monday and noticed that they shouldn't have scheduled my procedure at that location, because THEY DON'T HAVE THE EQUIPMENT THERE. (Because I'm not getting just a needle biopsy of my boob, it's my lymph node.)

So, they called to reschedule. For Wednesday. Much farther away. The scheduling person very kindly offered to make it Friday so I'd have a long weekend ("If you work". What. The. Actual. Fuck.) I rather tartly replied that I'd rather get this over with, thankyouverymuch.

So now I have an additional 48 hours to stew. I'm glad I'm not much of a drinker because I have a whole 6-pack of good cider in the fridge along with some excellent local mead.

And it's too cold to go out in the workshop.

 It's been a week and it's only going to go on. Venting ahead, feel free to skip.

Last week, on the prep day for my colonoscopy, the mammogram folks called me and wanted me to come in for an ultrasound of my left breast. So I had that anxiety free-floating all through the horrible all-liquid prep, subsequent dehydration and FOUR TRIES to start an IV on me (I have some excellent bruises). 

I did have a good show on Saturday, where I was not only inside but next to the bar, and a lovely woman named Mary Grace and her two teenage sons insisted on helping me load out. And by "helping", I mean they did 90% of the moving and loading. It was very appreciated!

I wanted to to that show on Sunday as well, but since I have FOUR CHRISTMAS FAMILY THINGS this week, I needed Sunday to Do All The Things. I did A Lot Of The Things.

Got up too early this morning (though nowhere near as early as Colonoscopy Friday, 4 am is just gross), and after my boob was ultrasounded, the radiologist explained that my lymph node was denser and rounder than last year, and they really want to do a needle biopsy. So now I'm waiting to hear from my gynecologist, which may not happen until after Christmas. I'm calling tomorrow just to speed things along. Because I Do Not Need This Shit Right Now, Thanks.

I KNOW, logically, that it is overwhelmingly likely that it's nothing serious. But I lost both my sister and mother to cancer, and I'm really, really scared.

It didn't help matters any that I came in to find a work crew busy building out the cubes on the other side of my wall, so my day was spent with very loud banging, drilling, talking, dropped metallic objects, and did I mention the constant hammering and banging that transmitted into my desk and keyboard? I was able to escape for a bit with my boss's blessing, but driving around 3 days before Christmas on errands is not exactly soothing.

So now I'm very tense and slightly hyper, I have work the next two days and the in-laws Christmas tomorrow (about 45 minutes north of here), then Christmas Eve with L and J and J's mom, and I have to clean that day since we're doing the Divorce Christmas again, with my brother in the morning and at my place with my sister-in-law that afternoon so my house has to be at least habitable and I've been staging shows out of it for a month and I've just about had it and it isn't even goddamn Christmas yet.

EVERYTHING is setting me off. Normally I just roll with things and weeks like this but it's just been one damned thing after another and I'm just so stressed and worried. I've been crying over everything and my stomach is all in knots.

But I did get the thank-you cookies to the cafeteria crew and the mailroom crew at work, and dropped some off at my pharmacy (because they're awesome) and bought cupcakes for my mechanics and a box of candy for the lovely folks selling my work for me at Blue Genie. And I'm leaving brownies in the mailbox for my mail carrier. And my Christmas lights look awesome and I've been selling well at Blue Genie and that rattle in my engine compartment I thought was serious was just my loose hood lever. (Thus, my mechanic gets cupcakes.)

Well, I asked and was gifted: the Austin Municipal Court rescheduled my court appearance for the 14th of July. So I don't have to spend half of my birthday dealing with traffic court, which is awesome.

Birthday plans continue apace--if you live local to Austin and want to come, the party is at Mr Tramps on July 10 from 7-9. Presents totally optional but loved (as I am 12).

I now have new glasses! They are very hipstery:

Well, it's official. I have my first broken bone.

Remember the toe? That my MD brother said wasn't broken? Well, last week I looked at it and said "This ain't right." to the cat, who was very unimpressed. I made an appointment with my podiatrist, who took x-rays and told me it was REALLY REALLY NO I MEAN IT BADLY BROKEN.

And, of course, it needs surgery, because that's just how I roll. He may also fix the bunion on that foot while he has the hood up; I'll know in a day or so.

My trainer gave me the exact same look my podiatrist did when I told them it really doesn't hurt (it doesn't). I'm beginning to think I may have missed my calling as a linebacker or MMA fighter.

So, right now we are tentatively set for April 2nd, not quite 2 years to the day after my first knee replacement. I already have a ticket to see Captain America 2 on that Friday and the Gem & Mineral Society's Swap Meet is the next Saturday. I want this done ASAP, as....

I am TAKING A VACATION OMG. Got the tax refund back (thank you, house!), and blew part of it on a ticket to San Francisco over the 4th of July, in order to take advantage of vacation days, a couple of excellent friends, and my 50th birthday the following week. No shows, no family, no commitments. Just FUN. And possibly baseball. (Just checked, they are playing the Cardinals the 1st-3rd. Awesome!)

House continues apace. I replaced my shower head and I 'm down to 3 boxes in the living room. House warming is the 29th, so I need to get art up on the walls!

Well, this year has been a hell of a roller-coaster ride.

About this time a year ago, I was just starting to contemplate buying a house. It took six months but I finally found one. (I'm still a bit in shock; I'd always assumed I would be a lifelong renter. Both my Amazing Sister-in-Law and my Realtor-in-Law worked tirelessly to make this happen and I will always be in their debt.)

At the end of January, I finally bit the bullet and both joined the YMCA and signed up with a personal trainer. A decision I will never, ever regret.

In July, I lost my sister to lung cancer. It was a blitz attack; six weeks from diagnosis to death. And oh, yeah, I turned 49. And my brother's divorce became final. July has a lot to answer for.

In August, I lost an old friend to suicide. Still working on processing that one.

In September, I had one of my best shows ever (WorldCon in San Antonio.) I've started showing at SF cons more, which cost me more (out of town expenses), but usually pay out more. Plus, they're inside, unlike the majority of my local craft shows.

I discovered new fandoms/shows! Teen Wolf, Person of Interest, Elementary, Sleepy Hollow, Almost Human, Adventure Time, Pacific Rim...

For some reason, I appear to have also lost a friend. A woman I have known for over 10 years just...stopped talking to/communicating with me. No reason, no explanation. Since she won't tell me, there's nothing I can do. *shrug* It really bothered me for a couple of months, but now I'm at the point where she will either call me or she won't; it's all on her. I sent her a birthday card and a Christmas card, but if I don't hear from her, I'll have to write her off. I refuse to pine after someone who has apparently decided I'm not worth her time.

I hope your year hasn't been too horrible, and I wish you the best of all possible 2014's.

 Well, that was a long break. I apologize. In my defense, life has been one insane thing after another.

I'm now about 65% unpacked, mostly due to my friends L & J and having them and J's mother over for Thanksgiving. I may not have a real kitchen table, but one of my folding tables looks pretty good with a Target-on-sale tablecloth and placemats. Thanksgiving went well; I introduced L to the tradition of Let's Go To A Movie While The Crazy People Watch Football. Thor 2 was just as fun the second time around.

The workshop is up and running though I know I will be futzing with it for a long time. I went and bought a table setup at IKEA's 'table bar'--there's legs on one end and an Alex 7-drawer unit on the other. (I love putting together IKEA furniture. Everything fits!) So I now have a dedicated enameling space, which is really sweet. I did discover that when the previous owners re-sodded the back yard they screwed with the runoff, so the garage has gotten quite wet twice now. I think I know where to apply a shovel, though. It may not look pretty, but it should fix the problem.

Haven't gotten any of the things done to the place that I wanted, since the maintenance man from my old complex completely flaked on me and hasn't answered repeated emails, texts, or calls. So getting the screen door and the storm door installed is on hold for now. *sigh*

The Austin Celtic Festival went well--the weather was incredibly great (after we had a record flood 2 days before). My sales were very solid but I could tell that I needed to have the deeper inventory that I usually do. Moving really cut into jewelry making, though.

I was going to have an outdoor show this weekend, usually one of my better ones, but we're going to have crappy freezing weather all weekend, so they cancelled it. At least I might have time to finally hang Christmas lights and get the last of the books out of the second bedroom, since my sister-in-law has bought a small sofa bed to put in there so she has a place to stay when she comes into town. It gets delivered next Saturday. 

Speaking of nice things, a couple of my friends sold their house (for way too much money), and since they are downsizing to a condo, they offered me a lot of lawn equipment--a Black & Decker chargeable lawn mower, a leaf blower, rakes, shovels, pruners/loppers/saws. a shelf, a window AC unit to replace the old one in the garage, a dehumidifier, sprinklers, and a big floor fan. Now all I need is a weed trimmer!

I'm still missing the hell out of my sister. She would have really gotten a kick out of this house. :-(