You'd think I was a playground with all my mood swings

[lillian13]

My emotions have been all over the place lately. I'm coming to grips with the realization that I will never walk quickly or (probably) without some kind of a limp again; I may never walk a long distance without pain again; going down stairs will never be easy again; and walking as a form of exercise is now off the table completely. The damn knee stiffens up if I sit too long, which will make long flights very amusing.

Sunday I moved boxes, as I noted before. But it took me forever and my knee definitely told me all about it later.

Monday I did pick up hangars. The dry cleaners gave them to me for free--I think my shirt amused them. Then I went home and stared at the TV all night. At least there was Hawaii 5-0.

Yesterday I was in a black depression and accomplished little both at work and home. I was really missing my coppersmithing class--when I call those classes therapy I'm really not kidding. I was so unmotivated I could barely move. I did manage to stress-eat most of a pint of ice cream, though.

Last night I dreamed I was running, and how I used to love just taking off like a bandit and I woke up crying and in, oddly enough, a slightly better mood. I decided I would at least clean out my cubicle since I was waiting on others to finish their parts before I could do anything. I did, and doing so helped a lot. Then I went to my lunchtime Healthy Eating Every Day class and everyone is all "Oh, I just park farther out in the parking lot or take a couple of 10-minute walks every day to help burn off calories," and I got depressed again. And then one of my coworkers kept asking, "So, how is your knee? Is it getting better?" and it was all I could do not to rip her head off, which she did not deserve.

But I came home and started washing all my blankets and cooked dinner (well, threw a frozen meal in a skillet, but I added veggies to it and made rice) and now I'm torn between starting on the hanging rod thing or waiting until tomorrow when I will have no real distractions, since tonight is Criminal Minds.

I have asked a friend (who got one last year) about getting a handicapped sticker on my badge at San Diego Comic Con, so maybe I'll be able to skip some of the line waiting. I plan on taking my cane with me; I'll probably need it in the afternoons if my memory serves me.
 
*sigh* sorry to be such a whiner.

Comments

[wolfshark]

*hugs you tight*

[tehomet]

Don't apologise for whining; it's good to vent.

I'm sorry your knee is in bits.

♥

[marthawells.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You're not whining; it's a big deal and it really sucks.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I think if you keep things too bottled up, it turns to poison. And really, there is no better place in the WORLD to talk about it than LJ. I mean, wasn't LJ invented so we could have space to talk about things bothering us? ;)

It sucks, a lot, and you have every reason to be mad/sad about it.